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    This page has essentially no true (or normative) function but at least I admit it, unlike the vast array of crap that has to be surfed through these days.  You will find no:  

 

Notice:    This page has not been updated in months and probably won't be for at least several weeks.  Check for new updates after 4/15/00.

 

  • Java Consoles, ActiveX or any of that other crap designed to be hidden vehicles for viruses (If I wanted to destroy your machine, I would go to your house with a sledge hammer and do it properly.)

  • Graphics above 20K on the home page (I want you jokers who don't have RoadRunner, @Home, a T1 line or are otherwise confined to a modem to actually load my page before the final judgment of the Apocalypse.)

  • Irritating Animated Graphics (enough said)

  • Low contrast text (If you want yellow text on a white background, climb back under your rock.)

  • Porn (ok, maybe a little but you'll have to hunt)

  • Pictures of my family (because I know what they look like and you don't care, so what would be the point?)

  • Pictures of my girlfriend (If I put in one girl, I have to put in all of them and I have enough trouble keeping track as it is.  Also, remember that I said there was no porn on this site.)

  • A GuestBook (because no one reads that shit anyway, and for those of you who like and believe in them, your wrong, accept it and move on)

  • "Under Construction" graphics (even though this site is in a chronic state of flux, I will not reduce myself to putting up annoying construction signs or worse yet, animated, annoying construction signs)

  • A Browser preference (the only meaningful difference between Netscape and Internet Explorer is that the former is in bed with AOL and the latter is being sued for being successful)

 

On the Other Hand...  You can find:

  • kick-ass links (Since paranoia.com has been taken down, I felt a need to provide a similar service.)

  • my Resume (important if you're running a biotech company especially considering when I leave the University of Texas Medical Branch, I will be an M.D. - Ph. D. but that's not until 2007).  However, the vast majority of you out there (yes, both of you) will have no use for this.

  • other, generally nifty shit

 

Just for fun, let me know how I'm doing on this page and please submit any links you feel would be an enhancement to my content. 

Please note that if you send hate mail and I find it particularly amusing and poorly thought out, it becomes public domain, as does your name/location (and yes, I do know exactly where you are, it's in my logs so don't fuck with me unless you have a credible complaint and "ghost port" wouldn't hurt either):

 

  

(c) 2000 Dickfer Web Design.

Address all comments, flames, whines, and suggestions to the webmaster.

    All content herein is strictly my own or legitimately stolen from other sites where it was presented as public domain.  If you happen to be offended by any of the content, ask yourself if you belong in any one of these groups:   the KKK, US Post Office, FBI, Christian Coalition, IRS, DEA, the Mormon Church, or any other group that takes themselves too seriously.  If the answer yes, turn off your computer and pitch it out the window, or hock it and use the money to buy more drugs.   I don't care what you do but it is obvious that you do not have the mental capacity to handle the internet in its present form (HINT:  it will only get worse from your perspective).  Finally, if you are still offended by my sites...DON'T VISIT THEM.   By the way, if you feel a need to send me hate mail and flames that I find especially entertaining, I will post them along with any other information the hackers can find from your logged IP address.  I also will not hesitate to submit your email address to enough spam listserves to keep you busy for a long, long time.  I'd prefer not to do this but it's really your choice.  Have a nice day.